Hip Hop Wisdom Lesson #17: Outlast and Outlive

I once had a colleague that gave me a tidbit of wisdom that I always kept close to the heart. He always preached, “sometimes you have to win by default.” What he meant by that, once I inquired, was you have to be the last person standing. Sure, another person might be more skilled, be more qualified, or have more accolades, but being the most consistent is the true measure of who wins the game.

There was a time when I worked at a high profile bar as a barback. A barback, for those that don’t know, is basically an assistant for the bartenders. Backpacks do all the grunt work to ensure the bar runs smoothly. At this particular bar, the barback had a little more responsibility, specifically keeping track of all the bar inventory in real time. All the bartenders had to do was pour drinks and socialize with the guests.

At such a high profile bar, everyone was under the microscope. When liquor costs were too high, I would warn the bartenders to scale back the amount of liquor they were pouring or lessen the number of drinks they were comping. Because at the end of the day, management expected me to be their eyes and ears when they were unable to supervise the bar. Of course, I had also developed some pretty strong relationships with the bartenders who compensated me above and beyond the contracted amount.

At some point, because of its star power, the bar was sold to a major hospitality company and the rules began to change. There were tighter controls on liquor costs, management started implementing integrity shops (basically trying to catch bartenders stealing), cheaper ingredients were introduced, and most importantly, they started a zero tolerance policy on ID’ing guests. If they caught a bartender not carding guests, even if it was one of their regulars, they were fired on the spot. Also, another new rule that affected me personally was that servers were given priority to be promoted to bartender over barbacks.

These new rules totally changed the culture of the bar and within the first month alone, I saw five bartenders get fired for not carding guests and another two get terminated for not ringing in drinks immediately. Now, half the bar staff was gone and they were promoting servers to the bar that had no clue how to bartend. Sure, they knew the food menu like the back of their hands, but were horrible bartenders. Under the old rules, I would’ve gotten promoted by this point. It wasn’t about the money because after the bartenders pooled their tips, I would make more money than some bartenders on most nights anyway, depending on the hours they worked. Therefore, I wasn’t affected financially. I was just missing the swag of being an actual bartender at one of the busiest bars in the city.

After more than a year of watching them promote server after server to the bar, I grew tired of the gross oversights of management. So, out of sheer frustration, I asked why I hadn’t been promoted to bartender. I laid my case out, a strong one at that. I knew the bar better than anyone, I trained every bartender they had up to that point, I knew all the regular guests, I knew all the specialty cocktails, I knew the food menu, and I had the support of the whole bar staff. The answer I received shocked me. I was told I provided more value to the company as a barback than a bartender.

The general manager at the time said, “you’re the best barback I’ve seen since I’ve been working in this business.” I immediately began working on my exit strategy. One of the bartenders, who I had a good relationship with, begged me not to quit. She told me that if I quit, she’d be forced to quit too. And she was dead serious. The next month would prove to be a roller coaster of events.

Once I secured a gig at another restaurant, I put my two week notice in at the bar. Just so happened that a few days before I informed them of my resignation, the old GM was transferred to a sister restaurant and we got an interim general manager at the bar. She was young, full of energy, and wanted to keep her best people happy. Unbeknownst to me, she saw me working at my new job and was impressed with the level of service I provided. My next shift at the bar, she called me into her office and asked why I was quitting. I told her because I have been passed up on the bartender promotion too many times.

I then explained to her what the previous GM told me and she was appalled. The meeting then transitioned to an interview for the position of bartender. I aced the interview and she was extremely dazzled by my bar knowledge. She promised me that if I rescind my resignation, the next bartender spot would be mine. I started my bar training the very next shift and by the time I took my final exam, a bartender spot had become available. By the time I started my first shift as a bartender at that particular spot, I had seen 17 bartenders come and go in a matter of 19 months.

Under most other circumstances, I would have resigned faster. However, having that bartender experience from that establishment on my resume springboarded me into more lucrative opportunities. I outlasted 23 people if you include the six other barbacks that didn’t make it. And when I finally did leave, I went to work at one of the most prestigious hotel brands in the world, known for their commitment to cutting edge cocktails.

I say all that to say this, if you truly want something, stick with it. No matter what the obstacles may be, keep pushing. Your blessing is right in front of you. People come and people go, but when it’s your turn, take advantage of the situation. Be willing to outlast the competition.

Sometimes when I tell this story, people ask, “why didn’t you just become a server, you would’ve got promoted faster.” Occasionally, there’s no room for compromise. To tap into the power of outlasting and outliving, here are a few suggestions:

• Have a clear idea of what it is that you want

• Don’t get frustrated with things you can’t control

• Find multiple ways to increase your cash flow until your objective is met

• When you feel like giving up, push even harder

• Make one new contact everyday

• Uplift yourself with words of encouragement and positive affirmations

• Drink more water than anything else

• Eat more plant based foods than anything else

• Turn off all the noise around you

• Cut off all toxic relationships